Thursday, October 20, 2005
another one of those sleepless nights
well... i see myself facing the computer once again. it's funny 'coz i've never really considered myself the techy kinda gal. i never got into video games and i never used to surf the net on a daily basis. before, i used to just use it for emails, homeworks or for research. but now, i wake up and rush to the computer, before i go to sleep i go online again. even right now, it's already late and i still felt the urge to sit here and write down my thoughts. hey, i was trying real hard to go to sleep. it's just that sleep has now become a rare commodity for me. nowadays, i'm lucky if i even fall asleep 2 hours after i lie in bed. i toss and turn, waiting for mr. sandman to send me off to dreamland. i feel like a vampire, awake in the night and asleep in the morning, correction... atleast more comfortable to sleep in the hours of the day but not for the entire day. it's weird... i guess i've always had this problem, but before i've just always had an easy solution and that was the telephone! hey one call away from my phonebuddy and i was set for the night, well atleast until one bores me to sleep...hehhe....no, truth is, my phonebuddy was just there until i was too tired to chat and just had to close my eyes. but now, the phone's just not a solution anymore... first because no one comes to mind for me to call, second - i'm just not in my phone phase days anymore...it ended early in highschool. third - if i do want to call someone it would be just to expensive to call overseas. so ultimately, do i suck at sleeping? hahha! i never knew anybody could do that, but i guess it is possible 'coz well i'm doing it right now. i've tried everyhting... blogging, watching tv, soundtripping, counting sheep (hahaha)... nothing works. even my old remedies doesn't help. do you know what i can do to get myself to slumber? my mind's just a mess, it always seem to work just when i'm about to go bed. my head touches the pillow and suddenly i'm reminded of everything i've failed to do for the day, things that i need to get done, stuff that i've already forgotten or loads of memories. it's nice but it's just not what i need when i'm ready to dream off. i just hope what i'm doing right now satisfies my busy mind enough, to let me go to sleep when i go back to bed and once again try to get some shut eye. i wonder what the cure is for insomnia, that's probably my problem. i just have to find a refuge during my sleepless nights. have you ever felt like you're in the verge of discovering something or in the edge of breaking down? it's depressing because that's how i feel most of the time when i'm trying to sleep. it's just so frustrating. but maybe tomorrow's going to be different, i certainly hope so...
goodnight for now
(actually it's already A.M. in my clock so... good morning)
-gif l.t.
unbreak
;1:43 AM
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