unbreak
It’s been a while since my last entry. I haven't been updating because I’ve been far too lazy and too busy to do so, and not because there haven't been anything interesting to say. If you know me, there's always something new and shocking happening in my life even though I say everything's fine and the same. My life, (well at least for me), has always been a rollercoaster, a constant path of twists and turns, filled with cliff hangers and breath-taking moments that never seem to fail to mesmerize other people, including me. It just sucks how everything never seems to go the way I planned it. I guess it's my karma... for wishing more when I already have a lot compared to other people who have less than nothing. But sometimes I just don’t seem to see the positive things in my life, (I guess there always is, even when life appears to copy drama in soap-operas), often do I find myself second guessing my decisions and my plans for my future. I’m trying my best to cope with the challenges and heartaches that the wind of change throws at me, but this past few days (probably, rather years) has just been unbearable. There’s really nothing I can do but write this all down, though I will not elaborate the terrible things intertwined in my life right now, for it simply isn’t my nature to open up such vulnerability. It’s hard to keep a straight face and pretend like you are not affected by everyone and everything that is happening around me, constantly. But I feel, I have no choice but to act in a manner that is pleasing and is expected of me. This maybe hard and may be hypocritical but I believe it’s not. If that’s the only way I will be able to keep some balance (even if it’s just a small portion) in my situation then I will carry on, however I do not know for how long I can hide myself in this charade. I should never have hoped for ease during a time when I’m filled with chaos. I guess I only know one way to live… that is to stress myself until I do better and get through it. It sounds stupid and illogical nut I guess misery loves company. If to accompany misery forever is my cursed, then so be it… I shall accept my fate and do my best with what I have been given. (*sobs…sobs) ** I guess ill just cry myself to sleep -gif
;7:59 PM
loves.
GOD =) || family (",) || friends ;) || sweet gestures || romantic acts || long conversations || moonlight walks on the beach || SUNSETS / sunrise || swept off my feet || personally written poems || SENERADES
hates.
HYPOCRITES! || PLAYERS / LIERS / smooth talkers & the sort || being... judged || told what to do || smirked at || intentionally ignored || left hanging || taken advantage of
calendar/events ?
my bro's & tita's bday!
mother's day!
my debut. 10/10 - tagal pa!.
my forever wish list!(:
true love =)
simple things.
happiness.
yesterdays. (my archives)
October 2004
January 2005
April 2005
May 2005
June 2005
July 2005
August 2005
September 2005
October 2005
November 2005
December 2005
January 2006
February 2006
March 2006
April 2006
May 2006
June 2006
July 2006
November 2006
December 2006
April 2007
